The Man of Un-constant Sorrow

Man of Un-Constant Sorrow…

~~~Wm. Andrew Turman, 2012

Man of Un-Constant Sorrow: All through my days I yo-yo…up then down, walking the dog longer than I wish. How I love the burn—I yearn for it to last, but it is bittersweet for I know that the crash, though not in view in the flame of the moment, it hovers waiting to drown me in tears. I break the chemical restraints THEY have put me on time and time again. Each exotic cocktail, psychopharmalogical, lasts for only so long before I feel the scales tipping. I hate what happens to me.The rapid cycle, the mixed states, the suicidal ideation, the surly irritation, the fact that I have no skin, like I am on fire. I love what happens to me. The rapid cycle, the mixed states, the suicidal ideation, the surly irritation, the fact that I have no skin, like I am on fire. A friend mentioned to me that I need to find serenity, to find the balance. She inspires me. She works hard to push through the fog. As must I. Buddha and Benzos, my Amazing Grace…. How sweet the sound… High above the chimney tops, until the other shoe drops. Dum spiro spero means “While I breathe, I hope”and that, really, is all I have. That one day, the cycling might stop.

~~~zen image bliss, 2013

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